Nightmare
by Crowlii
Summary: Jim struggles to deal with life after the death of his sniper, Sebastian Moran.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one.

Jim Moriarty woke up with a start. He sat up, sweating and choking on sobs. Jim closed his eyes tightly, trying to get his nightmare to go away. The only problem was that it wasn't a nightmare. It was a memory and one that was impossible to forget. Jim laid back down, rolling onto his side and looked out the large window at the city below. Jim closed his eyes, knowing that he would see it all over again when he fell asleep.

**Jim stood on top of the tall building, looking out over the dark city. He felt blood on his hands and face, and all over his suit. Jim didn't mind. In fact, Jim liked it. He smiled, stepping forward and spun around like a ballerina, and skipped towards the edge of the building. He smiled, spinning again as the wind clawed at his hair and suit jacket. Jim smiled as he spread his arms, falling off the edge.**

Jim woke up suddenly, and looked around. Cloudy sunshine filled the large bedroom. Jim sighed, hugging a pillow. His second nightmare wasn't much better than the first. Jim got dressed and skipped breakfast. He meet with a client who annoyed Jim. Jim turned as if to whisper something to someone who should have been beside him but no one was there. In the afternoon, Jim got a visit from Irene Adler.

The domiatrix sat across from the consulting criminal who seemed lost in his thoughts. Irene watched him closely, noticing the dark circles under his eyes, how whispy his hair was.

"How have you been lately?" Irene finally asked. She didn't expect an answer. Of course, she didn't get one. Jim stared at the tea cup in front of him, watching the ripples that appeared in the tea when he tapped the white and gold glass. "James?" Irene didn't want to spend her time with someone who wasn't interested in being around people. Jim tore his gaze away from the cup and looked up at Irene.

"Hmm?" His big brown eyes has lost something. They had lost a glint that had always been there before.

"I asked how you were." Irene leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms.

"Oh...I'm fine." Jim shrugged.

"Really? I don't believe you."

"I don't care." Jim looked away from Irene, resting his head in his hands. He looked out the window, rain bouncing off the glass. He liked the sound of rain.

"For a while...You seemed like you did care. I guess I was wrong. You've been perfectly fine ever since Se-" Irene was cut off by Jim standing up suddenly, glaring darkly at her.

"Don't you dare bring that up. Do it again and there will be no where for you to hide from me, do you understand?" Jim snarled. Irene stood up, smirking as she pulled her coat on.

"Oh I understand." Irene said before leaving Jim all alone. Jim looked down at the glass tea cup. In one quick motion, he threw the cup across the room, the glass shattering and scattering across the floor.

Jim set the empty bottle down on the desk as he finished typing up what he had spent hours working on. He had the perfect plan. He couldn't let all that information that Mycroft had given him go to waste now could he? It was so simple in a way that Sherlock wouldn't know what to do with it. Jim smiled. Someone who should have been there would have liked it and have been proud. Jim closed his eyes and laid his head down on the desk, slowly closing his eyes.

**_Jim heard the sound of the gun shots. The body hitting the roof. Jim turned away from it all, a smile forcing its's way on to his lips. Pain. He always felt it now but it's all good. It's all good. He didn't fear it anymore. Jim smiled, spinning around like a ballerina, his suit jacket fluttering in the wind. Jim stepped towards the edge, smiling as he let himself fall._**

Jim woke up with a start. He had fallen asleep at his desk. It was still early morning so Jim turned off his laptop and stumbled upstairs to his bedroom. He collapsed onto his bed, not bothering to take his suit off. Jim wrapped the blankets around himself, looking out the window at the sparkling lights of the city. So full of people but Jim had never felt more alone. As much as he wanted to start this plan, a part of him just wanted to lay in bed. To not do anything. Jim went with the side that told him to just lay there.

**"I miss you." Jim looked up at that familiar face, smiling slightly. Jim stammered, wanting to say something but couldn't. The city lights shimmered like stars around them. Jim could only nod slightly. Sebastian Moran smiled at Jim. "I knew you missed me." Sebastian said. Jim glanced away, the wind drifting around them. Jim turned his gaze back to Sebastian and stopped, feeling sick. Sebastian seemed confused. "Jim? What's wrong?" Sebastian asked. Blood oozed down the side of Sebastian's face and dripped onto the floor. Blood seeped through Sebastian's white shirt, spreading like a rose blossoming on his scarred chest. Jim backed away from Sebastian, unable to take his eyes off him. "What's wrong, Jim?" Sebastian asked again. Jim took another step back and let himself fall. He was grateful that he didn't have to see Sebastian like that anymore.**

Jim woke up with a start. He sat up, sweating and choking back sobs. His breath hitched in his throat. Jim hugged the pillow that still faintly smelled like Sebastian and closed his eyes tightly. Finally, Jim got of bed, trying to forget his dream. They were getting worse. As he pulled on a new suit, Jim focused on the task that he now had at hand. If it all went to plan, it would be too easy. Jim hoped that it wouldn't be that easy. He needed a distraction now and Sherlock was the only one he had. It made Jim sad though. Sherlock was like a paper puppet. He could only be so entertaining for so long before something better came along and Jim was already starting to get tired of this puppet . Too bad Jim would never get to play with that better thing ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

The client was on his knees in front of Jim, begging for his life. He had discovered that he wasn't able to pay Jim for his services and Jim was angry about that.

"Please ! Please! I can pay you!" He begged. Jim rolled his eyes, feeling a headache coming on. "I have a family! Please!"

"Do you really think I care?" Jim couldn't believe this man. He looked up at Jim, shaking. "Cause I really don't care." Jim sat down, reaching into his coat jacket. "Get out." Jim pointed to the closed door. The man got to his feet and started to run towards the door. Jim was quicker. The silver gun shinned in the light and the gun shot rang in Jim's ear. Blood soaked the white rug and stained the door. Jim sighed, leaning back in his chair and closed his eyes, the gun hanging loosely from his hand.

A few days later, Jim found himself sitting across from his younger brother, Jamie in a cafe. Jim hardly left his flat since it happened so this was a bit much for Jim. He just wanted to go home. To finish the planning and get this plan moving.

"So how have you been?" Jamie asked, smiling. He looked just like Jim but younger. Unlike his older brothers, Jamie was the most normal out of all of them. He was a history high school teacher and had a healthy relationship with his girlfriend. Jim didn't understand Jamie.

"Fine." Jim said, looking down at his sugary caramel coffee. "You?" Jim asked. Jamie started to say something but Jim cut him off. "Oh wait...I just realized that I don't care." Jim got up and started to leave, taking his coffee with him.

"Jim?" Jamie let his brother go. Jim had always been so closed off and not very social but never towards Jamie before. It hurt.

**Jim stared at Sebastian who watched him closely. Blood started to drip down Sebastian's face. Jim closed his eyes, furious. **

**"Why?! Why did you have to do that?!" Jim screamed over the roar of the wind. "Why did you have to leave me?!" Jim stepped towards Sebastian, the wind clawing at Jim. Sebastian seemed surprised by Jim's sudden anger. "Say something! And don't you dare tell me that you miss me!" Jim continued to move towards Sebastian, his hands curling into fists. Sebastian stayed silent, blood starting to stain his white shirt. "SAY SOMETHING!" Jim screamed, swinging his fist forward to hit Sebastian. Sebastian seemed to fade away suddenly and Jim started to fall. **

Jim woke up screaming. He clawed at the blankets, kicking them off. He fell out of the bed, landing harshly on the floor. He gasped in pain, trying to calm down and breathe. Jim started to count out a pattern, starting to calm down. He had discovered that counting a new pattern of numbers every time this happened helped him calm down quicker then not counting. Jim pulled himself back onto the bed, still counting.

"Forty five...Forty nine...Fifty three..." Jim looked out the window, watching the city lights shimmer. "Fifty seven...Sixty one...Sixty five..." Jim started to calm down, the counting soothing him. Jim hugged the pillow that Sebastian had always slept on. It no longer smelled like him and it made Jim sad. He didn't like sleeping in the large bed without him. It now felt cold and empty.

Jim stared at sparkling jewels. Sebastian would have loved this plan. He would have laughed and wanted to do what Jim was about to. Hell, he'd probably steal the tiny diamond that would be used to break the glass. Jim smiled a little bit at that. He put his ear buds in, scrolling through his large amount of songs in till he found the right one. The music began to play and Jim smiled. Yes. Sebastian would love this. One click was all it took. The alarms went off and people quickly left. After dealing with the guard, Jim threw his hat off, smoothing his hair. Another click and the vault in the bank of England opened. He pulled out the marker and wrote on the glass backwards. A smiley face was the finishing touch. He threw the marker down and one more click and it was perfect. Jim tucked his phone into his phone, dancing like he did in his dreams around the room.

Jim had way too much fun smashing the glass. He backed away as the glass shattered to the floor. He smiled brightly and pulled the cape around himself, and put the large jewel covered crown on his head. God it was heavy. Jim laughed as he sat on the throne, holding the shinning sceptre Sebastian would have loved this. As the police entered the room, Jim decided that he had to say something. Something that he and Sebastian would have laughed at.

"No rush." Jim smiled.

Jim didn't mind being in jail actually. He choose to be there anyways. It was better then being in that big empty, cold and lonely flat all the time. He got bored way to quickly though and Jim was thankful when the trial finally started. Dressed in the grey suit that Sebastian had gotten him last year for his birthday, Jim felt confident. He knew how this would end. Not just this trial but everything. There were so many different ways for this to go but they would all end the exact same way and that was just what Jim wanted. Jim smiled as he thought about this. Sherlock was making him smile too. Jim was enjoying this way too much. Sebastian would...Jim looked down at his polished shoes. He had to stop thinking about Sebastian.

**The wind howled as it whipped around Jim. He turned, looking out over the city at the sparkling lights. He shivered, now feeling how cold the wind really was. He heard footsteps behind him and Jim turned to see Sebastian, blood blossoming like flowers on his chest. Sebastian just smiled at Jim. He felt a sob catch in the back of his throat. Jim fell to his knees, sobbing. **

**"SAY SOMETHING!" **


End file.
